The Little Things

Today I woke up extremely down. I know you're asking how can this have any possible credence? Hang on, it does.
I was feeling inadequate. Very inadequate. I felt like I could never become the Christian God intended me to be because I have too many issues. It seemed to me that I would never have the stability that I see in other Christians. Or the faith and strength. I felt horrible about it. I know God doesn't expect me to be perfect. I know He knows that I am weak. Yet I still felt like a lost cause. A hopeless, helpless, pansy of a Christian.

With these thoughts and feelings filling my thoughts I stopped talking about it. (My mom wanted to know what was wrong and I found it near impossible to explain.) So I went and hopped in the shower. And if you know me, which you don't that's why I'm going to tell you, I sing in the shower. No, seriously, I sing in the shower all the time. I've even gotten in trouble for it a couple times.
So I'm singing, trying to calm my thoughts and all the feelings of hopelessness. After singing for a while Ecclesiastes 9:11 popped into my head. Well, it was kind of Ecc. 9:11, I don't have that verse memorized, so it popped into my head a little butchered. But I started singing it. This is what came out:

The battle is not to the strong,
nor the victory to the brave in heart,
but time and opportunity
comes to the weak and to the poor
and there is hope for me
in the Lord.

Then I looked out my window at the leaves of this tree that's right up against the window. It's been raining for the past few days and all morning it had been dark and stormy. But now the sun was shining and reflecting off each raindrop that had gathered on the leaves of that tree. And it was beautiful. Sometimes God does those little things, and it feels like He did it just for you. Sometimes it's a verse that comes to mind or a song, or the beauty of nature or whatever else it is that calms you. And you know, He did do it, just for you.



"I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favour to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all."
Ecclesiastes 9:11

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Aftermath

So now I'm left with the question, "What now?"

Now that I've learned all these things, what do I do? How do I start living like I've learned them.

You don't want to just come home and slip into your same old routine, because then it feels like you didn't change. A head full of knowledge won't get you anywhere until you apply that knowledge to the way you think and what you do.



Now, I need to CHANGE.



NOW, is when the things I learned about God, need to start comming out in my attitudes and actions.



So, what did I learn?

That's going to take a lot of posts.

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Drinking From a Fire Hydrant

One of the first things they told us when we arrived at camp was, "You're going to feel like you are trying to take a drink from a fire hydrant, but that's okay."
Yeah, it's not just okay it's great! But as you can imagine uncomfortable at the same time. So why does it feel this way? We had at least four hours of teaching a day for the first week. (Yeah, it was intense.) But it wasn't just teaching. It was teaching that is constantly prodding you to re-evaluate the way you think. To think about why you do what you do. The result was you learned more about yourself then you thought was possible. No it wasn't warm and fuzzy things either. The speakers that week presented the Bible to us in ways that you'd never thought of before. And a lot of these kids had been in church from birth, yet it felt like most of what you were hearing was entirely new.
To me the entire experience felt beyond my control. To me it felt like this;

I'm out on a surf board quite a ways from shore just laying there enjoying some rays, when I look up and see this GINORMOUS wall of water, a wave unlike I've ever seen. I cling to my board for dear life, but before I can open my mouth to scream the wave has already picked me up and carried me half-way to shore.

I was like God saying, "Brittany, I'm taking you to shore, whether you like it or not."
And it was AWESOME!

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The Wild's

Sorry, this is going to be a really short post. I've been getting ready for summer camp over the past few days. I'm leaving tomorrow for the WILD's. A Christian camp in North Carolina. I've had the opportunity to go for the past two years and it's been awesome.
This year I have to opportunity to attend a two-week training program designed to help you grow in you faith and leadership skills. I've learned so much already just preparing for the trip, and I'm praying I'll come back stronger in my faith and closer to God. A few weeks ago I asked someone who had done the program before what I should do to prepare. She said, just go with an open heart, and an open mind, and be ready to serve others. And I've been trying to heed to that advice since.
I'll hopefully have videos and pictures to post when I get back. I can't begin to explain the WILD's so I'm hoping I'll be able to show you in two-weeks.

See ya soon.

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The 8oz. on the Pump

"Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. . . . For without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must beleive that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him."
~Hebrews 11:1,6

A few weeks ago, in my youth group, I heard a lesson on surrendering your future to God. (I know, you're rolling your eyes again, saying, I've heard a million sermons on surrender.) Yeah, I was kind of thinking the same thing. But the speaker used an illustration I'd never heard before. It was short and to the point, but it really hit me. It helped me see surrender in a whole different way. It was an awesome story and I have to share it with you. I'm going to recount it in my own words, so bear with me here.

The 8oz. on the Pump

There once was a man who was travelling through the desert. He had long before run out of water and he was absoluetly parched. As he's trudging, weakly, through the sand, he sees a water pump. (You know like the ones you see on all the westerns, and no it wasn't a mirage.) As he walks closer to the well, he sees that there is an 8oz. bottle of water resting on top of the pump. Still sealed and with a note attached. The note said, "The well is in good working order, but you'll need to use this whole bottle of water to prime the pump." The thirsty traveller had a choice to make. He could just drink the bottle of water, and he'd be guaranteed at least 8oz. of water. Which may carry him a little ways. Or he could have faith that the pump did work and pour the 8oz. of clean water down the pump to prime it, in hopes of receiving more than enough water than he would need.

What would you do?

I'm sure you understand the analogy by now, but I'm going to explain it just because. My life is the 8 ounces of water sitting on the well. I could go ahead and try to control my life and live my way, because then I'd be guaranteed that 8 ounces; or I could, by faith, give God that 8 ounces, and receive more water then I would ever need. If I chose to give it to God, that would require me pouring my 8 oz. life down God's water pump, and have faith that the rewards are far greater then anything I could have done with my own life. I understand that, just as if that story was happening to me, it would be really scary to pour that water I so wanted right down the well. It's also scarry giving up control of my short life here on earth and letting God have control. But you know what? I know that the rewards are far greater then the sacrifice. If I choose to let God have total control, giving Him every bit of my life, I will never regret it.

Imagine how you'd feel if you chose to dump the bottle of wate down the well? You watch as the last drop disappears from the bottle. Then you place a sweaty palm on the handle and begin to pump. Can you imagine the shear relief, followed by incredible joy, as the first few drops of water emerge from the mouth of the well. Followed, a few seconds later, by a gushing stream of crystal clear, cool water.

I found this story thought provoking, and very challenging. The decision to give God our future isn't an easy one. It means us, stepping way out of our comfort zone. The question is do we have the faith to act upon what we know? That the rewards are well worth it, and we won't regret it.

The choice is ours, what are we gonna do?

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The Purpose in the Pain

". . . shall we receive good at the hand of God, and shall we not receive evil? In all this did not Job sin with his lips." ~Job 2:10

The story of Job is amazing. Job was godly and righteous, probably more than any of us now, yet he went through more pain and trials then many people ever will.
Why?
Well, God had a plan. God knew what He was doing from the very beginning. God was honoured and glorified through Job's testimony, his faithfulness to God in his trials.
What if Job never would have had to go through what he did?
He probably wouldn't have had a book of the Bible written about him. We'd be missing an extremely helpful example of how to respond to our trials.
The story of Job tells me something. I can always trust God. Regardless of what is happening in my life. If I lost my job, lost family members, faced illness, was attacked by terrorists. ( yeah, that's the best modern-day equivalent I could think of for Chaldeans stealing all your camels. Which happened to Job too.)
In short, just because something is painful doesn't mean that it's not what is best.
In Job 5: 17-18 Job says,
"Behold, happy is the man whom God correcteth: therefore despise not the chastening of the Almighty: For he maketh sore, and bindeth up: he woundeth, and his hands make whole."
I've heard this analogy in the past,
when a bone breaks and then heals, it rarely breaks in the same place again. Because the healing process had made the bone stronger in that spot then it was before.
Do you ever feel like God has dealt you a spiritual exercise? (I know Christian/Athlete analogies aren't usually my favourite, but bear with me.)
For example. I went to a graduation party awhile ago and played volleyball for four hours. No joke. And I'll admit for quite a few days after that I was really sore. But if I would have been on a volleyball team and played everyday, eventually I would have become stronger. And I wouldn't have been that sore. Building muscle requires being sore at some point. No pain no gain, right?
So, do you ever feel like a certain trial you're going through is just that, a workout for your faith? Whether it's a certain insecurity you're struggling with, a difficult family situation, an illness, or maybe an issue you're trying to work through with a friend. Whatever it may be, have you noticed that when you decide to try and look at the bigger picture and say, "Okay God, I trust You, help me learn, strengthen my faith and help me through this." Then you begin to see the trial you're going through in a whole new light. It may still hurt, and it's still going to be hard. But you're no longer without hope trying to deal with it by yourself. You're leaning on God to provide you with the strength you need. And you begin to see the purpose in the pain.
Until I can begin to see the purpose in the pain I won't be able to respond in the right way to unforeseen circumstances and trials in my life.
In the first chapter of Job, after his children have all died, and his wealth destroyed, this is what he says,
". . . the Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away: blessed be the name of the Lord."

So, what can I learn from Job's life.
Trials I face are not a sign that God has left me, that He's displeased with me, or that He doesn't love me. In fact they're there because He loves me and cares about my future. He loves me so much, He wants to make me stronger. He wants to teach me something. It's not always fun, and it's never easy but I can trust that God has a plan and a purpose for the pain. I may not always choose to see it. I may not always understand it. But God always has a plan. A plan that's in my best interst.
Why? Well, that's just how Jesus is.

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