So, a few weeks ago I was sitting in church and scribbled down a post on notepaper. We were talking about Moses and his character. Moses had problems; gee all those Israelites (which bear a striking resemblance to myself, by the way.) would have caused anyone problems. And I'm sure it felt overwhelming at times. But Moses rarely let his circumstances get the better of him. . .unlike the Israelites. . .unlike me.
Moses knew who he was, and what he was for. He knew he was God's man and that his life was for His glory. It sounds so simple. We know that too, we are God's and created for His glory. What made Moses different was that he actually lived by that simple, defining truth.
I, on the other hand, had completely lost sight of who I was and what I was for. Needless to say, I wasn't loving Moses at the moment. He was the picture of everything I was not and it was making me uncomfortable. Then the pastor asked a simple question;
"Who are you going to live for?"
Well, that was it. I wasn't listening anymore. Instead I began scribbling out my un-Moses like attributes on notepaper. This was my response to that question:
"This comes at an interesting point in my life. Right now I'm on the cusp of a bunch of things. I'm feeling insecure and alone. But at the same time, I know it's not my life: it's me. I am emotionally empty right now. Not necessarily because of occurrences in my life, though my response to my circumstances can't be helping. My problem is that I have become disconnected from my Creator. I'm flat out not getting the acceptance and love I am searching for because I have not taken the time to realize that God has never stopped giving it to me.
I've realized that ministering and giving is what's missing from my sadly, selfish life.
But I can't forget that; unless I am connected with God, and allowing Him to fill all my spiritual and emotional needs, I have nothing to give. Picking myself up emotionally from hurt, confusion, pain, or doubt, is not a pitiful thing. Many times when I attempt to pick myself up and move on I see myself as a victim of misfortune and get hopelessly involved in self-pity. But it is not pitiful. It is not even a resilient thing to do. Many times I am actually picking myself up from a disgusting, hopeless situation I put myself into by my own sin and arrogance. Picking myself up is not brave, or valiant. Because I MUST pick myself up to LIVE. There really isn't an option B. It's my responsibility.
Essentially it's my fault that I am where I am. I can't blame the people who I feel have left me or let me down. It was never their responsibility to take care of me. I was expecting them to do something that was not their job. My emotional distress is the result of my decision to seek acceptance, peace, and security in PEOPLE instead of in GOD. It's not wrong to ask people for help; but my first response should always be to run to my CREATOR, first. Realizing He is the only One in the world Who, not only has the power to help me, but will NEVER let me down.
It's not a sad picture. Picking myself up is not an ode to desperation or abuse. It's simply one of repentance for my own lack of faith. It's really a picture of hope. I, as a child of God, have a relationship that will always supply me with everything I need.
All people relationships are a plus.
It is my responsibility to be like Jesus to others. I know I am not perfect, I know I fall flat on my face...a lot. But I, when I'm full, have the responsibility to give. Emotionally, spiritually, and physically, to those that are empty.
That is what ministry is. That is what it means to give."
Saturday, December 18, 2010
What if I am Empty?
Monday, October 11, 2010
The Faith of a Freshman
I friend of mine suggested a start a blog series about how to handle freshman year. I'm going to be completely honest, the first thing I did was laugh.
"ME..." I thought, "Share my experience? What good could that possibly do? I don't have any answers."
But then I started thinking about it. It's definitely true, I don't have all the answers. But what would happen if more Christian college students started sharing what was going on in their lives. Their struggles, experiences, and what few answers they may have? Maybe then the Christian college student wouldn't feel so ALONE. Maybe then we would start to hear people talk about Jesus on our college campuses. Maybe we would start to see God do something amazing with broken and answer-less people like me to reach young adults for Christ.
I am starting the Faith of a Freshman series on a "what if".
What if we, Christian young people, could show our campuses what the love of Jesus Christ really looks like? What if we started to speak up and stand out? What would happen then?
I know this is not easy, to be precise, I have experienced that fact that this is not easy. I know I cannot give you all the answers so I will not attempt to. But what I will do is take on the responsibility of sharing. I will share what I learn, what God is teaching me, and what I see Him do, and hopefully you will do the same. Because I know what it's like to feel like the only Christian on your campus. I know what it's like to feel completely alone in your pursuit of truth. But it's not true. You are not alone. There are more of us out there then you think.
We just aren't being loud enough.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
My Way or the Highway
"God, give me what I need, even if it's
not what I want. Because Your plan is better
than mine, ALWAYS!
But I need Your help to handle the
disappointments, the unexpected twists,
and the unforeseen obstacles. With an
attitude that's pleasing to You, and a
spirit that is teachable. Because You don't
do things for no reason. You masterfully
orchestrate our circumstances to show us things, teach us important lessons, and to
shape us into someone who is more like
Yourself. You are at work even when we aren't
paying attention."
We're convinced that, "God couldn't possibly be involved in this situation I am in.What am I going to do?...." But something great happens when we seek God's face diligently. When we look closely, or even stop to look at all, we will see that God has been in it from the beginning. He never stepped away or got distracted, which is more than we can say for ourselves.
I've learned that life isn't always predictable. (Yes, it's taken me this long to figure it out:) Things don't always turn out how you plan. But I have also been learning that God's purposes are always good, and He is always reliable.
God alone, His promises and His character, is the one thing that does NOT change.
When we begin to realize that the situations and circumstances we find ourselves in are not random, and begin to see that not only does God know what's going on, but He is the one in control, our lives aren't so scary anymore. Though terrible things still happen, and life isn't always comfortable, we understand that God has a purpose in it. With this in mind even the mundane, painful, and undesirable experiences of life can be purposeful and exciting. Exciting because we get to see another piece of God's plan unfold. We may not understand it right away; but as sure as He got us through it, we know that His purpose was also accomplished in it.
It's a chance to exercise your faith. Stretch your commitment. An opportunity to spend one more day PROVING that faithfulness and goodness of your GOD!
This is what I believe James 1:2-4 is talking about.
" My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations;
Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience.
But let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing."
Taking JOY in the trying of your faith, because it builds spiritual character which is way more valuable than momentary comfort. Each thing that you go through is a unique part of His plan for you. He orchestrates out circumstances to make us into all He wants us to be. . . the good and the bad. He work it all together for good.
So, will you trust Him?...Even when things don't go your way?
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
From the Inside Out
"The earth is the Lord's, and the fulness thereof: the world, and they that dwell therein." -Psalm 24:1
Ministry is good. Doing is good. Being busy can be good. But during all of this you cannot forget what's most important!
Sitting at Jesus' feet. Our personal devotion to the God we love, and Who loves us fully. The time spent investing in our RELATIONSHIP with our Savior. Listening to Him, sharing with Him, and enjoying a life spent WITH Him.
It's the basis for any positive action, and the source of strength that allows you to keep going.
When this part of out faith is missing nothing matters. Ministry becomes empty, volunteering becomes stressful, and being busy sucks out life away. You cannot forget the most important part of your faith, your RELATIONSHIP with God.
"The Lord will give strength unto his people; the Lord will bless his people
with peace." -Psalm 29:11
We get SO distracted with what's going on on the outside. Making sure the PEOPLE see the we're acting right, walking right, talking right. For the wrong reasons.
We want to LOOK like something we're obviously not, because we don't want anyone to know we're struggling.
True godliness is from the INSIDE OUT!
You cannot fake it, schedule it, or plan for it. It's not something you can "work into" your life. It has to BE your life!
Peace is a very important characteristic of the Christian walk. It's one of the most attractive things about our faith. Because so many people are desperate for it.
Peace is a BLESSING. As it says in Psalm 29:11. Peace is a RESULT, the outcome of what's going on INSIDE of you.
When you are relying upon Jesus for everything. Trusting Him with ALL of your life. That's when the love, peace, and joy begin to burst out of you.
He's filling your heart with all that you need because you've finally let Him IN.
And when you are filled, then you have something to give.
Friday, May 7, 2010
Where Have All the Marys Gone?
This is a song I wrote a couple weeks ago.
It's a different style then what I usually sing, it was fun to play.
The melody came after the words which I wrote to be serious, and reflective.
Then I chose to lighten it a little with the melody:)
"And she had a sister called Mary, which also sat at Jesus' feet, and heard his word.
...But this one thing is needful: and Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her."
-Luke 10:39,42
Hope you enjoy it.
Lately that story has become more practical to me. I realize how much I am not like Mary. I choose to spend my time worrying, planning,being busy, and various other things that distract me from listening to what's most important. Young adult years can be hard, there are a lot of decisions to make. But instead of letting those decisions and changes worry me it should remind me how much I need God. His mercy and direction. I should be spending MORE time at His feet, not less.
This is just what I have been learning lately and I thought I'd share it.
Monday, May 3, 2010
I love you...I guess....
A friend of mine asked me a while a go what I though about casual dating.
"What do I think about casual dating?! Oh, you didn't just ask me that!" I thought.
I have talked to many many girls about their dating relationships. I've had conversation after conversation about dating among young people. And I have voiced my opinion about high-school dating, casual dating, when to date, how to date, what to call dating etc...etc... So I automatically assumed that I would have a lot to say. Wrong.
I was almost wordless as I tried to explain clearly why I thought the way I did about casual dating. Voicing your opinion is easy, explaining your opinion is not. I decided to start from a basic level; answering the question,
What is casual dating?
Casual dating is using a romantic relationship to fill emotional voids. It is dating without plans or inclinations of a future with the other person. It is selfish and benefit only you. You are seeking some-THING not some-ONE. You want what a relationship offers, not what it entails.
To me, this is casual dating. It is reckless. Selfish. And dangerous.
So when I use the term "casual dating" I do not mean, you took your girlfriend to the park and McDonalds, instead of taking her to a fancy restaurant and a Broadway play. I mean, you took your boyfriend's heart and drug it through the dirt, dropping it on the next girls doorstep when you were "done with it".
If you are in a group of young people and ask them what it the one thing that ask for advice on most often, I guarantee you dating is in the top three answers. It's a topic of intense debate and discussion in youth groups all across America. Christian book stores are overflowing with informational books, devotionals, and study guides on how to run this area of your life. So what could I possibly have to add to the masses of opinions and guidelines? Maybe nothing. I am not a counselor, or a psychologist, I can't give you a ten-step guide to making your life perfect, or a fail-safe method to get your high-school relationship to make a good marriage.
But I am a young person, going through young person issues, seeing lots of other young people make lots of relationship decisions. And I understand what it is like to be surrounded by a sea of information and feel like no one is answering your questions. So maybe what I have to say will help you. Maybe it won't. But if I can get you to stop for a fraction of a second and think about WHY you do what you do. Then I have contributed something.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Empty Pockets
"And why call ye me, Lord, Lord, and do not the things which I say?"
Why is it the life of passionate, radical, Christians seem so...well, radical? Like the life of the apostle Paul, or Elijah, or Peter? Or Amy Carmichael. Jim Elliot, and Billy Sunday? Maybe you know someone in your own life who seems "radical" or "over-the-top" because everything in their life seems to revolve around Christ. I mean everything, it's what they talk about, sing about, dream about. Like it should be!
So where was it that I left my faith? Where was it that you left yours?
